Good morning! Thank you for checking in! Hey… whaddayaknow? It’s Saturday! And we’ve reached Day 50 of the Big Monster Experiment! It’s going well so far, don’t you think? Entirely thanks to you, I might add. Without your cool stories, these would just be ink blots. But you’re like a little army of Gene Wilder Frankensteins, giving life to the creatures. IT’S ALIVE!!! Yesterday’s Doublemint Twins were no exception:


Now it’s time to introduce you to Monster 50, a strange bird with uniquely evolved features. Why would its skull take that particular shape? Is the creature gigantic? Is it teeny-tiny? What is it looking at? And what kind of image would the brain assemble from such multitudinous input? Is this a Cubist eagle? An art vulture? Don’t leave us in suspense! Please, take a minute and…


Truly, birds of a feather do flock together—and that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Is it any wonder that 344 LOVES YOU


  • 6 January 2007 4:11 am

    Thumbs up for your Daily Monsters Mr Bucher!

  • 6 January 2007 9:12 am

    This is an interesting one, indeed. A bird of prey, it seems. In the year 2 billion A.D., this bird has evolved from a strange genetic mix between a Monster #1 and an eagle. Those several eyes give him the best vision imaginable – both stereoscopic and panoramic! What a view that would be. That head is rather heavy, though – the maximum flight altitude this “tougle” (toucan+eagle) can achieve is about three inches off the ground. Poor fellow.

  • 6 January 2007 12:42 pm

    Science can make monsters, but I don’t understand it: http://scitation.aip.org/phf/gallery/2003-lorenz.jsp

  • 6 January 2007 3:00 pm

    That video of the ferrofluid changing is pretty cool Bernhard. Not that I know anything about ferrofluid, or the physics of fluids. The first sequence of the 200-µl drop was by far the most interesting.
    Monster number fifty, Darshan Featherbottom, is the kind of fellow who enjoys a party. But flashing lights and disco ball reflections really irritate his beak-eyes. Fortunately, millions of years of evolution have been kind to Darshan. Whenever he feels the need to sheath his peepers all he has to do is blink and a thin fibrous membrane, not unlike human fingernails, covers them up so no light can shine through. Now if he could only do something about his excessive down plumage, he’d be set.
    Congrats on number 50! Keep em’ coming!

  • 6 January 2007 9:08 pm

    Name: Farsighted Forsythe
    Special Talent: precognition
    Age: Half an Earth century
    Favorite Song: We All Live in a Yellow Submarine
    Vision: 20-20-20-20-20-20
    Preferred Mode of Transportation: by camelback (oddly enough)
    whoopah! happy 50th!
    Like yer portmanteau there, Schlock; the fuselaginous ferrofluids are pretty cool; I love the name Darshan Featherbottom.

  • 6 January 2007 10:57 pm

    Oh yeah. I been training these lil fellers for about … going on 10 years now. Yup. These things really are a special breed. Differen ‘en most other of them thangs you can get down in Port Scanton. Most folks’ll tell ya that it’s cuz of that set of power lines over yonder that gives ’em the extra eyes. I thinks it’s advanced. Y’know – what’s tha’ word … revolved? I dunno. Don’t care really much ‘tal eitha. The way’s I sees it is that these things’ll fly better cuz they sees better. Hell! I seen one o’these ol boys spot a coon a mile out and take off from ma truck to get at it. By the time I gets there… well sir, ain’t nuthin left but the tail. I’ll say it’s a bit creepy when they blink though. It makes an awful, sticky sound cuz them lids’ll close all at once. Gives me the crawlies. But I deal with it. Traveling from town to town with these other fellers – I thinks the one’s a lady, but I don’t dare ask, her facial hair’s thicker than mine – this hear circus is what they call it. We travel and put on shows. They call me a … balconeer? I handles ’em. And they just odd lookin’ enough to draw the crowds. Yup. People come watch them and they watch the people. They always watching. Watching and not makin’ a peep. Just watchin’. With all them eyes. Lookin’ at the people as they walk by. They loves kids. Always hop up and down the perches when them come up to take a peep. Guess they loves the attention. What’s tha? No, I don’t know anything ‘tal ’bout all them missing kid stories tha’been goin’ round. Anyway, I gots to be going back to the trailer. One o’the big’uns keeps breakin’ the latch on his pen. We’ll see ya in New Yorkshire.

  • Sue Bebie
    20 April 2008 6:26 am

    Ein Aufschrei durchdringt die Stille und stört das friedvolle Zwiegespräch zwischen Regenwurm und Vegetarier.
    Fliegende mutierte Monstergurken können sich, da mehräugig und darum besser sehend als ihre gefiederten Vogelkollegen, aus höchster Höhe, und weil stromlinienförmig gebaut, mit Überschallgeschwindigkeit auf das kleine Gekreuch und Gefleuch stürzen.
    Wie konnte diese Entartung nur passieren.
    Biologische Düngung…Monsterkürbisgene vielleicht, verantwortlich für die enorme Grösse…Vogelkot…
    Fragen über Fragen!
    Schutznetze zur Fluggurkenabwehr bedecken Gärten Wiesen und Äcker.
    Friedvolle Zwiegespräche mit den Kleinstlebewesen können wegen der schalldämpfenden Abdeckungen nicht mehr geführt werden.

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