DAILY MONSTER 185 (of 200)

Good morning. How’s the week treating you? Well, I hope! Thank you for checking in on the monsters. I’m glad you’re here! If you can, please take a few minutes to read yesterday’s great stories about Monster 184:


Then feast your eyes on Monster 185:

Now… what’s going on here? With 185’s particular facial structure it’s just hard to say! How do you smile without an upper jaw? How do you frown without a brow? It would take a rather brilliant surgeon who could help 185 with that hump. And yet, all may not be as it appears. We are dealing with a monster after all. I hope you’ll care to weigh in with your opinion. If you would, please…


I’m excited to see what you come up with.
Your great ideas always makes me smile!

Have a great Thursday, and please
remember that 344 LOVES YOU


  • sue bebie
    17 April 2008 4:25 am

    Wow! It has got the design award for best cradle design. It can sway the babymonsters. They need also a little bit of shaking and a funky lullaby.

  • 17 April 2008 4:53 am

    It was true, he thought. Form does follow function; he lived it every day.
    He dropped his jaw a little, settled into a comfortable position. Arranged his many feet under him, breathed quietly. It was the perfect spot here. He had only to wait.
    His eye, (which was the main lure) took on the appearance of a reading light. His tongue, which had evolved over millenia to resemble a massaging throw pillow, fattened.
    He was the very picture of a charmingly eccentric and comfortable chair. One would come, they always came.
    And then—there’d be someone with arms long enough to hold his book.

  • Sonya J.
    17 April 2008 7:03 am

    LOL fluffy cat! And LOL at today’s monster! I like the new site header and vid intro too, btw. 🙂
    I feel inspired to write:
    Jon, a handsome guy with black hair and a goatee, sat peacefully on the park bench in jeans and a red polo shirt reading his book. The sun was out. The spring birds were chirping. It was…relaxing.
    He sighed contentedly and flipped the page.
    A few minutes later, an attractive brunette in a black jogging suit jogged to a halt on the paved path nearby. She had run a couple of miles and was breathing heavy. She spotted the bench. She spotted the guy. He seemed harmless enough, she thought. And pretty good looking too. Sitting for a spell sounded like a good idea.
    So she strolled towards the bench.
    Jon looked up from his book to see who was approaching. He spotted her jogging suit. He spotted her breathing heavy. He spotted her…feminine traits.
    He smiled.
    “Mind if I sit down?” she asked.
    “Not a all.” he motioned with a hand.
    She sat and pulled a small towel from her jacket pocket and dabbed the sweat from her brow. He watched her a moment, then realized he was staring and pulled his eyes back to his book.
    They sat silently for a little bit.
    The birds continued to chirp. The sun continued to shine. Jon pretended to read his book.
    Suddenly, there was a disturbing *squawk!* then a girgle and what sounded like…munching? The lady whirled her head in the direction the sound was coming from (which happened to be in the direction of the guy). To her amazement, a puff of feathers erupted on the opposite side of him, just past the bench. Her eyebrows shot up! But the guy did nothing. He calmly continued to read. *Was he deaf?* she thought. She had to ask. “Um, what was that??”
    Jon curiously looked at her, “What was what?”
    She waved a hand in his direction, “That…sound. Sounded like something…just got eaten.” she grimaced.
    “Oh.” he smiled and set his book on his lap. “That’s my pet Reggie.” He leaned over, picked up his pet, and set the foot-tall creature on his book.
    The lady covered her mouth! She was expecting a little dog, but instead, it was a…well…she didn’t know what the hell it was! It had no upper jaw, it had a big freaky eye dangling like a fishing lure, and a zillion little feet oddly adorned with little yellow pointy shoes! And it still had a feather stuck between two of it’s teeth.
    “Isn’t he cute?” Jon said proudly!
    Reggie gurgled.
    The lady lept to her feet and dashed off.
    Jon and Reggie’s one eye watched her go. He shrugged, then set Reggie back on the ground and resumed his book, “Non-B DNA Structure-induced Genetic Instability”.
    Reggie scurried back to his covert position just under the end of the bench.

  • Andu
    17 April 2008 8:25 am

    When he finally came of age, Moe was used to the stares, the giggles and the dumb comments of his fellow monsters. In some way, he could understand them. It was hard not to laugh at a monster with one eye dangling from a thick antenna, a huge black bush of hair, six feet clad in yellow shoes and a lone, massive lower jaw to boot. He got used to it after a while and after an even longer while, he could laugh with them.
    Even though his handicaps made his life no easier, he stuggled for everything and got what he wanted. When his parents realized that he would never be able to speak, they bought some books about ventriloquism and taught him how to speak without his mouth.
    When it got winter, his mum knitted a warming beanie for his tongue, so it wouldn’t perish by the cold weather.
    In school, Moe placed his books into his jaw, and supported by his big, shiny teeth the angle was just right for his one eye to read the lines. That was, he also was able to write.
    When he succeeded, it actually went fine. It surely looked funny for others, but he could live, that was important.
    After finishing college, Moe wasn’t sure whether anyone would ever employ a disabled monster. The first job interviews went horrible. Even in a world with monsters of all kinds, you weren’t safe of prejudices. He made his way as a peon and carried heavy cargos up the stairs. What he couldn’t do without a second eye or a upper jaw, he made up by a decent intellect and strong arms.
    But his most loved event at the week was the philosophy lecture.
    As he had grown fond of philosophy in college, he liked to secretly attend lectures in random universities he could reach by train. He was really thankful that the biggest and tallest monsters had to sit in the back, so he could hide behind and just listen what the professors said about Plato, Aristotle and modern philosophers. It was sometimes hard to get, but it was interesting and that was the point.
    One day at exactly this lecture should change Moe’s life, however. He had just walked up the stairs to the auditorium, when he noticed a person in a wheelchair standing at the lowest stair, looking up to him. “Excuse me please, but could you help me?”, the small monster yelled. “The janitor isn’t there tonight and I have to get into the auditorium.” Moe walked back down the stairs , but wondered how to carry the small person in the small wheelchair up.
    And then he got it. He picked the man up, together with the wheelchair, and placed him into his mouth. That way, they made it up to the auditorium. “Thank you!”, the monster said to Moe. “By the way, my name is Professor William Amonstro.” Moe was surprised – this small, wrinkly old guy was the person he loved to listen to about that wondrous world of philosophy?
    After that day, he had a job. He carried the professor, students with broken legs, the cleaners and small pieces of cargo throughout the university area. It wasn’t easy, for some things really were heavy, but when he had succeeded, it actually went fine.

  • GristleBean
    17 April 2008 9:24 am

    “Senator! I can’t allow our forces to invade the Peaceful Pink Blister-Cottages of Gingroo! Such an act would be misconstrued as a true declaration of war. They’re peaceful. It’s even in their title. What would be the purpose of this seemingly arbitrary act of violence?”
    The sneering senator thumbed the edge of his wineglass in obvious contempt of his fellow Oinkmakers. He had remembered just last week, last month when they all sat about wiggling their thick snouts at the idea. They needed the land, the resources, the exercise.
    “My stance to you here and now is but a formality. We’ve all wished for it- needed everything they have. I signed the order yesterday, and the troops left before last Troughsfill.”
    Yelps of contempt echoed throughout the forum. Chaimberlain Offlobbet turned a shivering red.
    “Guards, seize him!”
    The senator sighed, set his wineglass down and waited for the rushing guards to climb the fifteen steps to get to him. “You’ll not do any harm to me. I’m the only one that can cancel the order before the cottages are lanced. You know that.”
    Offlobbet scowled. “And we are here to be blackmailed into an act of aggression? I know other ways of making you cancel that order. We’ll do the public parts first.. by inverting your snout!”
    Roars of toothsome crowd-calls hit the walls of the forum like an ocean wave.
    The votes cast for the action, humiliation were unanimous.
    Senator Reeblix attempted to steel himself for the oncoming pain of this. He had his snout inverted by a kid in gradeschool many, many years back. His wealthy parents had his snout reconstructed. He remembered the terrible internal pressure of it all; the squeaky-toy noise and humiliation.
    The guards did not spare him, but pushed his snout into his face so hard one of his eyes sprung into a stalk. Muffled laughter was all he could make out. Someone took a photo. They threw him down the stairs to the approaching Chaimberlain’s feet.
    “Yough gnorght seegh ghe laghct ob beeh!”, he cried to the forum floor.
    “Oh, I’ll see quite more of you, Reeb. You’ll be a hobby of mine until I get that infraction cancelled. Take him away!”

  • 17 April 2008 1:10 pm

    Felicity scuttled across the floor very nervously; her many feet clapping against the tile in rapid fashion. Her gear-like eye bounced up and down like a dangling spider caught in an erratic breeze. She would reach the edge of the room and spin around on the very spot she stopped to scoot back to the other side. The clock mounted on the wall had done nothing to comfort Felicity as its hands seemed to have stopped with how long this waiting had felt. Her impatience was starting to show – when would she get some form of update? He’d been away for so long with no word and she needed to hear from him.
    As Felicity had reached the wall of the room just under the TV, the door opened. She quickly twirled around with much excitement. There he was, standing there holding open the door as he smiled back at her.
    “Here we are, Ms. Canterston. This should suit you quite well, indeed. This new line of denture is a lot more comfortable and the silicon hookup should cause less strain on your upper jaw muscles. And clean up is a breeze with the Grade-7 Teflon coating.”
    She simply couldn’t contain herself as her joy exposed itself in the bizarre, half-smile comprising only her lower mandible full of teeth. Felicity handled the new upper portion of her mouth gently as she snapped it into place. She gave a few smacks to test it out, which she was certainly pleased with the results. It was solid foods for Felicity Canterston once again!

  • 17 April 2008 2:42 pm

    Every spring, this monster who is to be left unnamed, grows an eye that lasts exactly twenty-four hours before it wilts and falls into his mouth where he proceeds to eat it. He scurries around blindly for the other 364 days, waiting for spring to come around again so he can see once more. The day is never set, his eye simply begins to grow randomly (sometime in spring however). Little else is known about this monster as he is hardly ever seen. In fact, this is the best picture of this species of monster up to date.

  • Dan Ryan
    17 April 2008 6:57 pm

    Ed doesn’t know where his upper jaw went to. It was there one moment then — phtht! — gone. And he was so very fond of it. He loved nothing more than the crunch of human spine between his teeth, the explosion of bones. Now that was gone. Cursed with tiny arms, he could not even spike a big, tasty human on his bottom teeth. And what fun would that be, anyway?
    Could you imagine T-Rex roaming Old Earth with no upper jaw? All the tiny dinosaurs wag their lizard butts at her, tails held high. Maybe one offers her a thoroughly chewed croc carcass out of pity, but who needs that?
    Ed doesn’t need your pity; he needs your teeth. If there is a heart at all between your hypnotically crunchy ribcage, won’t you please spare Ed your teeth?

  • 17 April 2008 8:36 pm

    “Mash me up some more o’ them potatoes, son” sounded more like, “ash ee uuh suh ore uh ohs ohaohs, uhh.”
    Living with dad can be difficult, though I’ve pretty much tackled the language barrier. His grunts and guttural gulps are like the ABC’s to me now. I have to say, his fascination with yellow high heels is beyond me. But who am I to question his taste in footwear. He doesn’t get to go out much and those pumps are his only solace.

  • Stoo
    18 April 2008 3:48 am

    185 shuffelled down the dimly-lit corridor. It had been a long shift and his mouth tasted like the inside of a vacuum cleaner.
    183 had been troublesome tonight. The first few nights were always tricky. Some monsters seemed to think it was a hotel, or something.
    He stepped into the creaking elevator, pushed the button and stood staring distantly as the antiquated lift crept asthmatically downward. The lights of passing floors flickered briefly in his single, bloodshot eye.
    “No pets!” He muttered to himself. “No pets. No pets. No pets…”
    Swaying in time to the lift, he extracted from the pocket of his white coat, a small object like a furry pillow, flattened, as though trampled by a herd of wild beasts. Inspecting it closely, he placed it under his slimy tongue, and leaned back against the complaining wall of the lift. Slowly his single pupil enlarged, and his eyelid began to droop.
    Drifting into a hazy dream, he felt his blood pressure drop as he visualizing the latest additions to his extensive shoe collection.

  • 19 April 2008 6:51 pm

    Act II
    Every time the Professor started lecturing, all that got through to Alcanite was white noise. He loved this sound, having grown up in a town at the sea. Every time he heard it, he was very delighted and leaned forward, yearning for more.
    After school, he enjoyed sneaking up on his Professor at the walking gym. At first, Alcanite played a prank on his tutor and ate the walking instructor after the Professor fainted. But the Professor didn’t seem to mind too much. He just popped another coin into the machine and there was another instructor to work with. Alcanite realized, he didn’t have to bring lunch to school any more. He could just go after his Professor and feed on his walking instructors.
    On that day, class was different. Everybody gathered around a strange object. It took forever. Being deliriously hungry, Alcanite fainted after he felt something touching his head. His legs tried to run away in different directions, but all that happened was that he stumbled and fell towards the object.

  • 21 April 2008 11:34 pm

    perfect creative..

  • caseman
    9 November 2008 5:56 pm

    Another dental experiment gone horribally wrong.

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