Good morning. I hope you’re looking at a great day, and that a great day is looking right back at you. Please check out yesterday’s excellent monster stories:


Monster 81 likes to snack between meals. Such a bad habit. That’ll really screw up your diet. But what are you going to do when the snacks are buzzing right in front of your face? What do you think 81 does when he’s not catching flies? Is he an artist? Or an office drone? A lover? Or a fighter? What accounts for his peculiar head shape? And for his five legs? I’m eager to hear what you think:


I can’t wait to read your stories. I’m also enjoying your T-shirt choices. You’re picking creatures I wouldn’t have suspected. Intersting! Very interesting! If you haven’t registered your vote yet, please let me know which one of the monsters you’d like to see on a T-shirt.

In the meantime, please remember that 344 LOVES YOU!


  • 6 February 2007 5:22 am

    I noticed a hidden treat under the 81 today. Is it a sneak peak at a new DM intro page? Or rather a discarded first attempt?

  • 6 February 2007 6:57 am

    Speed-dating was always easy for Marc. Until he got up from the table. And until the second date. And until the appetizers arrived at the table.

  • 6 February 2007 9:26 am

    All too soon, the time arrived for the squadron to leave the safety of their main hangers and head east toward the enemy. The Diptera Fleet headed towards the packed regions of Dwn’twn. They steamed east for the remainder of the day. That night, while the fleet’s progression was halted, they would find out all the squadrons aboard the various carriers were to engage in simulated maneuvers along the 6th Strait; a narrow strip of black and gray flanked on all sides by enormous structures of glass, brick and steel. There would be several Gigas along the strait and it seemed a poor choice to pick for simulation runs. Lt. Esroh Ylf stood on the deck of the carrier, surveying the surroundings before making his way to the launch lane.
    A total of 100 to 200 fliers would be in the air at the same time. Communications would be confused, mistakes would be made, and pilots would be killed in mid-air collisions and other accidents. To those in charge, however, this sort of exercise was practiced every time the Fleet left Gar’bg in order to improve skills. It was usually such a confused mess, that it was less known as skill improvement and more known as a “Group Grope.” Regardless, Lt. Ylf saw fit to always participate and managed to always keep his cool to return to the carriers.
    After narrowly missing four mid-air collisions with some rookies, Esroh thought it time to head back in. An especially confused squadron buzzed the Lieutenant and a slight clip caused him to go into a flat spin, flying wildly about. His attempts at recovering were proving quite difficult, indeed, as he flew further from the carriers, over the gray valley of the Gigas. He rose and fell in uncontrolled patterns. It seemed inevitable he would crash. Unfortunately, that was not his fate. He loomed close to a passing Giga, it’s hair high and the stomping of its many feet alerted Lt. Ylf of his impending doom. His futile attempt to pull up and away from the Giga only resulted in a dive right for it, to which it had now noticed him and snapped its tongue out to capture the pilot. The last moments of Lt. Esroh Ylf’s life lie stuck to the sticky, hair-lined mouth muscle of a Giga.

  • 6 February 2007 9:29 am

    Sam – I saw the same little blip. There ought to be more Easter-Eggs of this nature, hehe. Whether it proves to be of any value or not. I will look into which monsters are among my most loved (though I love them all dearly).

  • 6 February 2007 1:05 pm

    Hi Sam & Terry. I’ll be honest: I used one of the failed title card attempts as padding under the top sheet. (Those Sharpies bleed through the paper like nobody’s business.) But I like the Easter Egg idea. I’ll have to see if I can figure that one out.
    By the way, I put all the wrecked paper in my laser printer, so all my printouts now have the regular text with all kinds of Sharpie splotches. I use all parts of the buffalo.

  • 6 February 2007 8:11 pm

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    For a free 344-day trial, call 888-FLY-NO-MO. That’s nearly an entire year of fly-free printing! If you aren’t completely pleased with your Absaugung, return it before the free trial period has expired and pay zilch! If satisfied, do nothing. Your credit card will be billed for the full amount.
    Try one today, you won’t be disappointed!

  • Nate Miller
    6 February 2007 8:21 pm

    My art teacher showed me the Daily Monster about two weeks ago, and ever since all I seem to draw comes out like the monsters you make. Your art is so amazing. It’s creepy, yet cute at the same time. I now watch the Daily Monster almost two to three times a week.

  • 6 February 2007 9:16 pm

    Well all I know for sure is that this one is distinguished and refined: look how delicately he masticates. Doesn’t even need a napkin, so neat and tidy is he. I think that I would like to adopt this one, too, because there is another moth crisis developing here. I co-habitated with them for three years, and then finally thought they were eradicated. No. Now they are back. And they are bigger. So please, if adoption is not an option, how about a little vacation in Oregon? A week, tops.

  • 6 February 2007 11:34 pm

    oh yeah…I love the Easter Eggs idea!
    About…mmm, a week ago maybe? less? I noticed that at the very end of the film, for a split second, there is a flash of something before the revver ad comes up. I tried several times to pause the video so I could get a better look at it. I thought it kinda resembled the Statue Of Liberty. But I can’t get a still shot of it. Anyone else see that?

  • 7 February 2007 9:53 am

    Tina was a terrific dancer, just look at her feet! However, Ike said, “It was that tongue that threw me, man.”

  • Sue Bebie
    7 May 2008 12:35 am

    Haarige Probleme?…www.81@344.DM/HQ hilft!
    Nicht nur auf Fliegenfang ist 81 spezialisiert, er ist auch ein hochpualifizierter Mitarbeiter der Aeskulap Samenbank und Reinigungsfachkraft eines Grafikimperiums. Mit seinen fünf Beinen gelingt es ihm in kürzester Zeit riesige Flächen (egal ob Papier oder Bildschirm) nach möglichen ausgefallenen Wimpern, Nasen-oder Ohrenhaaren und Löwenzahnsamen abzusuchen und zu reinigen. Mit seinen Greifern ist es ein Leichtes, die Samen und Härchen an den Wurzeln zu packen, einzusammeln und in die Klinik zu bringen, in der sie als Implantate für kahle Stellen, wo und bei wem auch immer, zum Einsatz kommen.

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