DAILY MONSTER 187 (of 200)
Good morning. Thank you for checking in on a Saturday. I really appreciate it. Some great stories for Monster 186 are waiting for you right here:
And then there’s Monster 187, of course:
Ladies and Gentlemen, start your laster pointers, aim your balls of twine, ready your Tom Jones and Honor Blackman jokes. Still, there are questions here. For one, is this actually a cat monster? And if so, how big is it? Is it microscopic? Is it the size of a house? Or of mountain? Is it a moody and emotionally erratic monster? Or one that immediately rolls over at the slightest chance of getting its belly scratched? What is its position on all those bird monsters? If you have a leisurely minute, I hope you’ll…
Have an excellent, relaxing weekend!
Let the sunshine in, knowing that 344 LOVES YOU
Where are all the bird monsters gone
Pussy picked them everyone…
That’s the reason why the sweet Pussycat is much bigger than it appears on the screen.
It’s an XXL size kitty, as big as the famous Matterhorn. It looks so nice, but it’s a real beast.
Where are all the mice monsters gone
Pussy picked them everyone…
(Take a look at it’s tale at the beginning and you will know.)
The not-quite-squirrel flicked its tail in Sheldon’s face and disappeared up the tree, clutching its hazelnut and cackling.
“Same as usual,” Sheldon thought sadly.
His mother always used to tell him, “You’re one of a kind!” She spoke the literal truth–Sheldon was, indeed, the only one of his kind. As a result, Sheldon’s fellow monsters mostly shunned him, and he was forced to depend on humans for food and companionship.
As he heaved himself to his feet, having failed again at striking up a simple conversation, a cheerful thought struck Sheldon. “I’ll go see that German fellow–he likes to put out something for monsters in the morning. . .”
There was just *nothing* like having your stomach scratched with one of those pencils!
It was Priscilla’s first trip to New York City. She had been planning it for years, saving all her pennies until she had enough for the bus trip. Then a week ago it happened. She finally had enough for a ticket.
Friends had always told she was glamorous. With her looks and talent she should go to the big city. Certainly she would be a star.
And that was the plan up to the moment she stepped off the bus. For there before her were the two most handsome creatures she had ever seen in the world. All thoughts of herself and her purpose were left on a seat in the back of the bus as it drove away.
Stone faced, with muscles chiseled in marble, Priscilla couldn’t take her eyes off of them. They were majestic, they were regal, they were hot. She was in love, or at a very minimum, in lust.
They sat, two magnificent lions, unmoving and stern faced, protecting the entrance to a large stone building. Many people continually went into the building and came out. It was a very busy place. Priscilla knew their task was a very important and could not be interrupted.
Summoning her courage she decided to take a chance. She would wait right here until the end of the day, until they got off duty. Maybe they would talk to her, maybe they would show her some kindness and take her to dinner, maybe they would take her home and protect her as they did these people. Maybe they would love her.
She walked over and finding a nice quiet spot on the steps of the New York Public Library, she sat down to wait.
I shall call Monster 187 Midnight.
Midnight is as big as a hill, he sleeps all through the day just so he looks like shadow covered hill. One day MIdnight had a rough night so he was drooling. Some tourist came by and thought Midnight’s open mouth was a cave and his drool was a tiny river. The tourist went inside the “cave” to find it was much more like a cavern, the floor was wet, it was dark, and there was one BIG stalagtite. The stalagtite was soo big the tourist couldn’t get through, so they started beating it, and I don’t want to say what happens next. Lets put it this way, the tourist went home to wash themselves off,and MIdnight moved into a so called “deserted forest”, which turned out to be the way to Monster City. So at least one of them lived happily ever after.
My police statement this August afternoon, 1937, cannot truely state that, although it seems I have lost my mind, I am quite sane.
The events that happened leading up to the Greenland House tresspass, I know little. Joshua Crimbalm, the undertaker for the Greenland estate, had seen everything to its finality that fateful evening, of that I’m sure. He had called my residence to state that the master of the house was lain to rest in the family plot…but there was something else he seemed to want to tell me. I heard his voice crack over the receiver in hesitation. I waited, patiently.
He then proceeded to tell me that the plot was not like any he had interred. The phrase ‘non-Euclidean’ crept into my ear like a worm. He spoke of symbols, strange and gnaddic, like a rusty chain of a porch swing.
He implored me for a second set of eyes, as I was the neighbor to the Greenland estate and I was the closest within the ten-mile area, I agreed. Had I but known of the terror that would await, I would have broken my own housekey off in the lock, never to set foot outside again.
I set foot on the Greenland property, and found Joshua Crimbalm… or rather, his twisted frame stuffed halfway under the porch. There was a faint drumming noise from somewhere on the property, or perhaps instead of remembering drumming, it was my own pulse keeping tempo with my very fear!
I then heard another noise, one I have trouble describing but I know by my heart and blood… a mewing of a kitten-thing!
I wheeled around, and staring at me with those baleful eyes, DEAR GOD… was a cute and plump kitten sitting ATOP GREENLAND’S FRESHLY DUG GRAVE!
Rolling slowly across the floor, the oil slick kitten floated into the corner. The builders said the floor was level, but kitty knew better. Being viscous has some benefits, but traveling outside the specially built liquids utility vehicle (LUV) is dangerous to say the least.
High above, in the sky as green as a lush forest, the clouds floated and looked very much like sheep munching on an infinite plain of grass. It was a calm day in the sky, as we can see while flying up, passing the sheep-clouds. After a while, we meet the nearly invisible sylphids that fly at the speed of lightning through their realm. They are the cause of winds that made the clouds tremble and the trees on earth shake.
Beyond them, after we reach our intentional flying route again – the sylphids have blown us quite far away – a sudden change of scenery appears in front of us. The air is getting thin, but still fine enough to allow normal breathing.
In the sky that suddenly has a more blueish tint to its color is no cloud to be seen. Instead, a huge pyramidal rock expands in front of us, whose tip points to the earth far below. Atop of it towers a big, but inviting building, as white as doves. It is shaped like a tower of some sorts, but most likely represents a temple. Delicate wing ornaments adorn the whole building. Two immense wings of stone sprawl out from about the middle of the tower’s length. Surprisingly enough, they move, although they do so very slowly. It seems like they keep the building up in the sky.
When approaching the rock, we notice a black blotch in front of the gates of the temple, creating a sudden contrast between the white of the tower and the blackness of the thing. It seems like some spherical animal has curled up in front of the gates, asleep, yet aware of everything that approaches.
And indeed, as we land on the flying rock, the animal jumps up and comes up to us. Only now we realize that it is in fact a chubby, but nevertheless big cat with long black fur. It seems sleepy and quite unsociable, to say the least.
“What are you looking for?”, he meows, staring at us with large blue eyes. “This is the sanctuary of the god of birds. I guard this gate. If you want to pass, you first have to pass…me.”
Here kitty, kitty.
What are you staring at now?
Huh? Wait a second…
Are you stoned kitty?
Was it the marijuana?
It was, wasn’t it?
Where did I go wrong?
I thought I taught you better.
Oh well, pass the blunt.
Dude, I’m hungry meow.
I like chicken and liver.
Will you deliver?
Bad Luck Max never bothered crossing anyone’s path; he’d just plop his ample body down directly in front of them. This proved to be a rather lucrative venture, considering he carefully chose only those carrying his favorite food.
Once his victims were sprawled on the floor, he would get up and, despite his ample girth, scurry to the dropped food and make away with it. By the time his victim was even aware of what happened, Max would be long gone and savoring his ill-gotten gains in some secluded corner.
He was also very adept at lurking in shadows and lunging at passing toes. This didn’t result in too many snacks, but it was great fun. At least it was fun for everyone except the owner of the toes.
Bad Luck Max would have continued in his nefarious deeds had it not been for that fateful day of the questionable chicken salad sandwich. Now he lives quietly in the vegetable garden, munching carrots and lettuce and chasing away rabbits.
Bad luck, Max.
Suddenly, Alcanite was floating in an empty space with a mysterious Cat. The Cat told him, it was the creator of the Monstervere and since Alcanite damaged it with his steps into the portable black hole, he should be the one to fix it. When do they start making these things with a rail, anyway?
Alcanite thought of his happiest moment. He decided, it was the first time he was drawn: it tickled. So he assembled the pieces of the Monsterverse and decided that each Monster should be reincarnated many times in different shapes. The Monster Chief agreed and bribed the humanoid Stefan Bucher to offer his help.
Tulip’s mother had glasses. Tulip’s father had glasses and now Tulip might need glasses. She tried a pair on after the eye-people were shure she needed glasses and to her surprise, they slid down her face. “Ugggh!” she groaned. These were NOT the right glasses for Tulip.
YOU SHAKE MY NERVES AND YOU RATTLE MY BRAIN,YOU SING THE SONGS THE DRIVES A FLU-BIRD INSANE,OH WHAT A THRILL,UPON THE HILL GOODNESS GRACLOUS,GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
OoOh a kitty!!!His name is Mr.fluffylupugis.How do you pronounce it you ask?Mr-Fluff-e-lump-pa-gis!
Happy Thanksgiving and 344 loves you!