Good morning. After a day of non-stop tech frustration — some self-inflicted, some genuinely not my fault — it’s a pleasure to bring another Daily Monster to life for you. Especially when I can look forward to more great stories like the ones you came up with for yesterday’s creature. Please check it out.

And now, without further ado, please say Hello to Daily Monster 204:

OK. Back to work I go. This night ain’t over yet.
But you better believe that 344 LOVES YOU


  • 27 August 2009 5:38 am

    Lavinia hoped that the third time was indeed the charm – that this time she would be chosen for America’s Next Top Monster. She consoled herself that even if she wasn’t, she would always have her music.

  • 27 August 2009 6:12 am

    Thank you for the lovely little story, Lydia. Yes, she doesn’t seem like she’d be easily discouraged, does she? :^)

  • 27 August 2009 9:30 am

    This the tragic orange-legged Cranmore Twitcher. Probably the rarest bird alive.
    At anyone time there are never more than two birds alive. Once the female has laid her 3,000 eggs the parents sit and watch and wait. As the sex of the first-hatched determines their fate.
    Once born and it’s sex confirmed the mother or the father then pecks the other goodbye before throwing itself out of the ancestral nest. Which is at the top of the great Brackenwood Elm, a tree that stands over 700 ft tall.
    Because the Cranmore Twitcher can’t fly this was certain death.
    This selfless act, allows the soil around the tree to be very fertile and so ensures the tree’s health.
    Now alone in the nest the first hatched must work fast, piercing each egg with it’s razor like talon and kill it’s sibling before they too hatch. For it is these dead birds that will be it’s sole food supply for the rest of its life

  • Aina
    27 August 2009 2:29 pm

    They think, i am a bird. But i couldn’t say “hoot hoot”, couldn’t say “cirp cirp” and couldn’t say “koo koo kah chu” too. All i can do is “dddddd dance dance! just dance”

  • 27 August 2009 4:43 pm

    Cranmore Twitcher! I like that a lot! And yet, the rest of the story! Simon! So grim! Sui-, fratri-, and sororicide. Youch! :^D Thank you for an unusually dark story, sir.

  • 27 August 2009 4:47 pm

    Sometimes all you can do is dance. Thank you for the comment, Aina! :^)

  • karen linderman
    27 August 2009 8:21 pm

    Bizarre bashful and bighearted beanpole ballerina bird became baffled and bemused betwixt and between being bamboozled and bankrupted by her barbarian beastly bewhiskered betrothed.
    Brilliantly bedazzled beaked beauty befriended beaucoup bathing bearded beatnik buddies before belittling and bludgeoning beloved beast then binged on buckets of big bright biscuits, baskets of bleached bleeding blennies and billions of beveled beakers of Beaujolais before being bathed banished and Bat Mitzvahed.

  • 28 August 2009 12:28 am

    and don’t forget incest. Oh that dark rarely visited corner of my brain

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