Good morning.
Monday is the Day of Deadlines. Four big jobs all due on the same day, and of course, today is the day my computer and my printer decide that they don’t like each other anymore. In fact, they want to go into different corners now and both have little tantrums. After six hours of fiddling with drivers and settings I finally got one of my jobs to print out.

Well, you know how it is…

Of course, none of my little tech support issues kept you from coming up with cool stories for Monster 64:


Monster 65 seems free of technical difficulties, too. Or is he actually causing them? Or is this a virus that causes Leno’s Disease? Please let us in on your thoughts:


Thank you for dropping in on the monsters on a Sunday.
I hope you’re having a day of deep breaths and well-fed bliss.
Why? Because 344 LOVES YOU


  • 21 January 2007 10:39 am

    This monster has extremely small legs it seems – yes, those wiry tenticles would never serve him well on land alone. That’s why this one is strictly amphibious. When he soaks up enough water in his legs to go ashore, he goes ashore and scours out some yummy sand. When all of the water in his legs is used up, he goes back into the water to replenish them. What a boring life he must lead. But when you think about it, what animal (or monster for that matter) leads a lifestyle any more interesting?

  • 21 January 2007 12:56 pm

    A small group of the creatures were swimming together from one side of the tank to the other. Looking like a cross between a tadpole and a lima bean, they spun their tails to propel them through the water. None touched each other or the sides of the tank. They seemed very cautious about that. Each one keeping the right amount of space while keeping the formation of the group intact. Circling back and forth for hours, they never seemed to tire.
    Dr. Henkle observed the patterns their course took them and was constantly monitoring the water and taking copious notes. He made a few scribbles on his clipboard and studied, intently, on a particular collection of equations. Reaching for a scooping net, he carefully raised the lid to the tank. As the curious species swam about, he guided the net to pull one of them out. None would have it. They would avoid the net and cluster back together, again, ensuring a safety cushion of space between each. Finally, Dr. Henkle managed to divide one away from the pack and began to corner him on the far side of the tank. Despite its panic, it remained a small distance from touching any object, be it wall or net. When it could escape no more, it gently glided into the net.
    Dr. Henkle observed that the remaining members of the group were no longer swimming about, instead staying on the opposite side of the tank. They fanned out to increase the distance between each other, but remained as far from their soon-to-be captured sibling. As the net lifted out of the water, the little swimmer maintained his distance from the fine mesh. However, it was only a matter of time before water ran out and the mesh would touch the timid animal. And touch it did. To Dr. Henkle’s surprise, the tiny monster exploded – rather violently – upon contact with the net. The resulting shockwave caused the other “fish” to sway precariously close to each other, but they managed to not come in contact. After several minutes of confused staring, Dr. Henkle returned to his clipboard.
    “So now it’s touch, is it? These things will come up with a new reason to explode any chance they get.”

  • 21 January 2007 3:04 pm

    This little guy keeps squiggling about in the vast ethernet vortex smiling with hope as he looks for YouTube where he might be spawned without breakups and stall outs. Who knows if he will ever find his dream home again?

  • 21 January 2007 5:07 pm

    Number 65 is obviously a pigmy pigment monster. Ink tanks are injected with these microscopic pigmy’s to promote better quality and output. They come in two flavors; waterproof for traditional ink jet printers, and extra dry for toner cartridges. It seems your pigmy monsters are acting up Stefan. They too are smarmy little devils that require lots of attention and care. Hopefully they start acting like normal for your Monday deadlines. If not, I know they respond well to hard jolts and bumps. Give the printer a nice whack on the side to set ‘em straight, it works every time.

  • pimpon
    21 January 2007 6:13 pm

    It was the annual talent show, and everyone knew what was coming.
    “Hey, guys! Look at me! Look at me! I’m Jay Leno!” Sheesh, Dexter ALWAYS did jay leno.
    Sure, the resemblence was uncanny, but c’mon, they thought, for once can’t you do your M. Night Shyamalan?

  • 21 January 2007 9:38 pm

    yes, yes, YESSSS! This is the BEST superball prize I ever got from the gumball machine! It’s personalized: I tell it to bounce, and it asks me, “How high?” I tell it I want it to leave bounce-prints all over my big brother’s favorite Twisted Sister t-shirt personally signed by Dee Snider and it asks, “How many? Any specific pattern? Or areas in particular you want me to cover up?” It’s the best two-bit piece I’ve spent in years!
    hey, pretty cool of you and the star-alignment to post a monster today, of all days!! hope tomorrow brings less woe-tidings.

  • Blue
    29 January 2007 11:37 am

    Today is the happiest day of Gary’s life to date. He has just begun to sprout.

  • Sue Bebie
    25 April 2008 2:22 am

    Das Nachtleben von Jay Lennos Floh
    Der Floh von Jay Leno freut sich sehr über jede neue Late Night Show. Da er vor allem an spätabendlicher Kultur interessiert ist, plagt ihn zu mitternächtlicher Stunde jeweils der grosse Hunger. Wohlriechende Gäste beisst er besonders gerne. Mmmh, ein Schlückchen aus der Beinvene, ein kleiner Stich in eine Arterie, ein Schlürfen da, ein Saugen dort. Das Mitternachtsparty-Feeling gefällt ihm so gut, dass er nicht mehr nur alleine feiern möchte, deshalb hat er an die Flöhe der Umgebung Einladungen zum Mitternachtsstechen verschickt.
    Presseberichte über Lenos rätselhaft rotgepunktete Gäste, werden nicht lange auf sich warten lassen.

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