DAILY MONSTER 98 (of 100)
Good morning. I hope the week has been kind to you so far. The weekend is once again upon us and we have but two more monsters left to go! I’m excited to see that so many new storytellers are emerging in the nick of time! And I’m happy that some of our great authors from early on are returning for the final monsters. Everybody is showing up with flying colors:
Also, please take a look at this bit of fan art by Ysa (5)—her version of Monster 53. Her mom sent this to me a few weeks ago, but it was wiped out along with a bunch of other e-mails during my well-documented tech troubles. I just received another copy today and I’m happy to share it with you now. Nice work, Ysa! Thank you very much for sending it!
Monster 98 is in need of relief. It’s got an itch and it’s got the scratch to cure it. It’s Friday, after all. Everybody deserves a little sensory pleasure on a Friday. What do you think is going through 98’s mind right now? What was making it itch in the first place? And where is it sliding off to?
Once again I will post my bulletin about what’s up next:
As you know, there will be a book about this whole series and you can’t get into the book if you don’t post a story. So if you haven’t joined in the fun, this is your chance.
Due to the nature of old school print media, it’ll take a few months to get the book produced right. But I would love to keep you informed about the project in the meantime. I’ll post news here at the site, of course, but if you like, please send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll make sure you’re the first to get the book when it becomes available. In fact, if you put yourself on the mailing list, I’ll send you a custom monster desktop picture—full color and everything!—by the end of the week.
I hope you’ll have a great Friday and that you’ll have a chance to check in on the final two monsters tomorrow and Sunday. For now, have fun on your Friday night, be you scartcher or scratchee, and please remember that 344 LOVES YOU
Jedaciah always dreamed of being an armored tank…and in his dreams he was.
Vic, liked to workout. A lot. So much so, that his physique morphed such that more and more people began to confuse him for his twin brother.
“How’s the bell-ringing business?” they would ask.
Vic would simply roll his eyes for the thousandth time, release a muffled sigh and shrug and nod with indefinite acknowledgment.
Yet, he secretly envied a life lived in Paris.
I’m a square. I don’t mean that I’m unpopular, or a wallflower. To the contrary, I’ve got a ton of friends. I love dancing, long walks on the beach. I’m a sucker for romance–a candlelit dinner on a distant Amalfi shore, a scant ten minutes stuck at the top of a Ferris Wheel with the girl of my dreams…perfect.
But I’m a square. I’ve got a snazzy sense of style and I’m a whiz with hair gel. And short, short arms.
I’m looking for a slim, tall type, someone I can gather up in my brief appendages and squ-eee-eeee-ze until she squeals. I want someone with full lips, a terrific sense of humor, good fashion sense. Willowy limbs, witty repartee. You can’t get much better than that.
The point is? I want someone who can scratch my back. ‘Cause I can’t reach it myself.
What a delight it is to see 98. Thank god for 98. A balanced, saner, more genial monster it’s hard to imagine. For sure, he’s a little lazy. For sure, he really should have spent a little more money with his orthodontist but really… why try too hard when you’re this charming?
98 understands the secret of contentment – he takes pleasure in the little things… like scratching an itch for example.
for those who didn’t know better it may look like he was always so chilled out. But far from it. If you saw a picture of him when he was younger, fresh out of monster university still relieved that he didn’t follow up his friendship with 96 (she treated him like dirt!), you’d see a stressed out, go getter with his eyes firmly set on the main chance. He majored in Business studies and went straight to work on Mall Street cutting his teeth in the monster-eat-monster world of hedge funds and buying debt. They were crazy times – money flowed like milk and it all felt like it would last forever. He was a crown prince of the money markets, even appearing on the cover of ‘Grime’ magazine as ‘the monster who’ll eat your debt and still have room for pudding’. It caused a sensation. Sales of both debt and pudding went through the roof. But the crash of 47 hit him, and many like him, hard. The champagne lifestyle that he and his friends enjoyed evaporated overnight and he went from buying debt to being in debt in a matter of weeks. and puddings became a thing of the past.
Many monsters thought that 98 had killed himself, like so many of his peers. He certainly vanished from Mall Street.
in fact, he seemed to disappear into thin air.
but then, a few years laters on the other side of the world a small restaurant began to generate some extraordinary press. The starters and main courses were well received but it was the desserts that were simply unbelievably good. Monsters everywhere couldn’t get enough of them. It became a business sensation. These puddings were shipped all over the globe served to kings and presidents commanding prices higher than gold. The ruby fondant meringue proved such a hit that it became the foundation for an entire religion. the ‘many eyed pagcream chocolate sundae’ was actually elected mayor of a small Spanish town – and brought in some much needed reforms to the education system.
The restaurant was the brainchild of small monster called Bovpat who’d never so much as exchanged a single word with 98 his entire life. 98 had no involvement with it at all.*
so what happened to 98?
Well he met a charming young school of aquamonsters who all agreed to become his wife and he settled down to a quiet life reading books and caring for his family in a state of self sufficiency unencumbered by money or ambition.
Interestingly he’s never even heard of Bovpat and his world changing puddings.
but he’s not bothered at all.
i’m sure if he knew he’d be thrilled for Bovpat.
what a guy!
*Bovpat sites the cover of ‘Grime’ magazine featuring 98 as the inspiration behind his great success in the pudding business. His best selling book ’98 ways to enjoy Brulee’ contains this dedication: ‘To the Mall Street Prince who gave me an idea, wherever you are, I hope you’re happy’… don’t stress it Bovpat. 98 is!
HOW TO BE A GOOD MONSTER: Tips to stay wicked.
Step 1: Practice glaring. It is important to have a proper glare if one is to be menacing. One must also have various levels of said glare in order to get one’s point across, without saying a word.
Step 2: Create an unusual hair style, preferably something that you have never seen on anyone else. It also helps if you don’t have to do too much styling to it. We recommend going to the local daycare and have a five year old with scissors help you out.
Step 3: Obtain the proper outfit. The outfit you choose should say something of your personality and be unique. We recommend not using too many patterns or colors. As you can see in the photo (98) he has chosen one key item, his shoes, to standout. This is important.
Step 4: Perfect your evil laugh. This will take a lot of practice and effort, but in the end it will make or break your reputation as a monster. Some good with an evil low laugh, some with a loud booming roar of a laugh. Some wickedly cackle. The choice is yours, but make sure it is perfectly honed.
Step 5: Get to scaring! Being with family or friends, test your techniques out and see what works and what doesn’t. Technique is key in being an excellent monster.
Work hard! Play wicked! Be a MONSTER!
Elsewhere known as Rose Loomis, Lois Laurel, Lorelei Lee… in this case, she was just “The Girl,” but that didn’t make the words sting any less:
“So he lured me down to his apartment,” The Girl said. “He made me sit on his piano bench. Then he made me play Chopsticks. Then, suddenly, he turned at me, his eyes bulging. He was frothing at the mouth… Just like The Creature from the Black Lagoon.” The sting faded to a burn, the burn to an itch, and then the itch just hung out while the next seven years lurched by.
They say Time is the Ultimate Antihistamine, #98 thinks, but after seven years of itching, maybe it’s time to just do something about it. Tilting his head back, 98’s eyelids roll down like the weighted eyelids on a doll and he thinks, that’s what The Girl was: a doll with weighted eyelids, but he knows in his heart this is an oversimplification, just like her calling him The Creature from the Black Lagoon had been (98 had actually gone to high school with The Creature, though they ran in different crowds; didn’t he end up with Julie Adams? She’s on “Lost” now!). As he scratches his back, he hums to himself, not without a little regret:
One, two, three, steadily,
Let’s hear the melody,
This is the way that the “Chopsticks” go.
Be sure to give ’em
That regular rhythm.
Where have you gone, Ms. DiMaggio?
Boris today had a pest that wouldn’t stop following him around. The Invisible Itching Llama! The invisible llama crept around everyone chewing their backs, arms, legs, feet, any part of bodies! His invisible saliva created an itch that lasted all too long. You would have a hard time scratching out that invisible itch. Oh if only Boris remembered to bring some neon itch cream, his day would go by much better. Oh no, he felt another llama attack!
Everybody knows that the coolest monsters have terrible hygiene. In the monster equivalent of our human colleges, moldiness is a trait similar to beging completely ripped. As is probably evident by the large amount of extra dirty growth sprouting from the back of Monster No. 98’s (Marcus) head, he is one cool dude. This amount of dirtiness can only result in a very large amount of itching. However, the scratching motion most humans are used to seeing performed by Monster No. 98 is not in attempts to quell any itching. In fact, it is really his signature dance move. Back in Monster College–Marcus received a fine arts degree there–this guy was known for keeping the dance floor alive. He danced nearly every night for hours, and only used one move…the back scratch slide. After moving that way for so long, the move became ingraved in his very being, and he can hardly go two minutes without getting his groove on. Good thing it is still an extraordinarily hip move!
I apologize. My recently posted story had several typos in it. Here is the corrected version. Sorry again!
Everybody knows that the coolest monsters have terrible hygiene. In the monster equivalent of our human colleges, moldiness is a trait similar to being completely ripped. As is probably evident by the large amount of extra dirty growth sprouting from the back of Monster No. 98’s (Marcus) head, he is one cool dude. This amount of dirtiness can only result in a very large amount of itching. However, the scratching motion most humans are used to seeing performed by Monster No. 98 is not in attempts to quell any itching. In fact, it is really his signature dance move. Back in Monster College–Marcus received a fine arts degree there–this guy was known for keeping the dance floor alive. He danced nearly every night for hours, and only used one move…the back scratch slide. After moving that way for so long, the move became engraved in his very being, and he can hardly go two minutes without getting his groove on. Good thing it is still an extraordinarily hip move!
Horis Fritzsche had a bitch of an itch. But he’s not satisfying his own skin here, he’s testing out the newest Mello Smello scratch n’ sniff wallpaper.
People scoffed at Horis when his dream of slathering microfragrance coating on his walls was first realized. But with his paper going for $344 a square foot and a hungry market of Gen X home improvers, Horis is the one laughing nowadays.
Popular scents include: Bubble Gum, Strawberry, Root Beer, Pizza, Chocolate and the strangely sought after Peanut Butter.
Max and his no-see-ums have a blissfully symbiotic relationship going on. That’s all I can say. I’m bonking.
three cheers for the monsters! I love this guy. And I like the way you’re playing with space lately, Stefan – the animation opens up a whole new dimension and how!
Loved the drawing, Ysa!! Did this monster eat a bird, or is it a monster t-shirt? Either way, it’s great. I like the moon with the nightcap, too.
Monster 98 has a happy life. She works in a bank (where she has recently been appointed to deputy manager, despite a small concern on her file about nibbling on the bullion – but that was years ago), she’s got a great apartment just outside the city, and have you seen her new shoes?
We see her here on her way home from work. As she left, Dennis (the cute one from marketing) flirted with her and asked her out for a drink, and when she got into the elevator she couldn’t help leaning back against the mirror and giggling like a teenager. Let’s wish her a good night…
really rocking stuff.. highly impressed!!
Quasimodo der… Wievielte? hofft auf kratzkräftige Hilfe seiner 97 Mitmonster. Ob rauhe Zungen, spitze Zähne, borstige Haare oder Krallen, all das kann ihm Linderung verschaffen. Sein allergisches Buckeljucken macht ihm nämlich zur Zeit das Leben zur Hölle.
Eigentlich ist er erschaffen worden die nächsten 100 Monstertage einzuläuten, aber an Arbeit ist momentan nicht zu denken.
Doch da, welch Freude, Quasimodo sieht sie kommen. Er hört sie kommen. Es flattert und hüpft und galoppiert, es schwimmt und schwebt und stampft und marschiert.
Sie kratzen und beissen, zerren und reissen.
Was für ein Gefühl, die wahre Erlösung!!!
*Gasp* monsster #98 is giving me the “middle apendenge”.