Good afternoon. I’ve been working overtime redoing my presentation from scratch for my talk in New York this Tuesday, and taking care of all my clients before I leave tomorrow. That’s why the third weekly monster is a few days late. I hope you’ll forgive me. (Number 104 will go live on Wednesday, May 30th). Even with a bit of delay 344 LOVES YOU


  • Stacy Rausch
    26 May 2007 7:34 pm

    Earl is a scientist who works in a lab that creates fruit flavors for slushies… Because of his big brain, it was an obvious choice for him to go into a field that utilized his “smarts”.
    Earl also has the uncanny ability to roll his eyes into the top of his head, while wiggling his tail (multi-talented guy huh?). That always comes in handy at the employee picnic.
    Earl is not very happy at his job at the lab. Even though he was voted top scientist and had just made Employee of the month, (and subsuquently got a slushie flavor named after him), Earl is unfulfilled, because what he really wants to do in life is be an Elvis impersonator.

  • 27 May 2007 11:51 am

    Bill dreamed of being a whale and also believed the label on the hair tonic he bought at Mr. Con’s Corner Market to his chagrin.

  • 27 May 2007 9:25 pm

    First I must say, I hope you rebuilt your presentation even better than before….that is often the case when you have to tear it down and do it over (grrrrrrr’s notwithstanding). And also….I can’t believe I am not going to be there! You AND Ze in the same building? Sheesh. Maybe y’all will come to Portland sometime….yah…yah?
    Will you be showing us a video clip? I wish there was a podcast….

  • 27 May 2007 9:29 pm

    “You laugh at my hair-brained schemes now, but who has eyes in the back of his…I mean the front of his head..no I mean….who has all the grape popsicles now, huh??”

  • bbibo
    28 May 2007 3:32 pm

    Jeffery was the proprietor of Jeffery’s Old Towne Mathematical Bakery Shoppe. Customers lined up for blocks just to sample his formula for Banana Cream Pi. Three scholars at the local university independently proved it to be delicious. Soon he was taking his Pi to more places than any other baker. He became very very rich.
    But for all his wealth Jeffery wasn’t happy. In fact, he was lonely. He needed that special someone to share his great life. Wasn’t he just like everyone else? Didn’t he put his pants on one leg at a time, and a time, and a time? And besides, who wouldn’t want this? He stood in front of his mirror flexing and waiting for an answer.
    But unfortunately today his mirror wasn’t talking to him.
    So Jeffery did the next best thing. He logged on to eMonsterHarmony.com.
    It didn’t take him long to compose his advertisement. “Pi maker wants the solution to his equation for a happy life. Will you be the x to my z? Call me if you want to know y.”
    His tail twitched as he took an extra slice of anticipation and waited for his true love.

  • tusday
    29 May 2007 7:09 pm

    Feeling bogged down by all his obligations Boris considered looking for a way to give them the slip.

  • Erin
    30 May 2007 9:57 pm

    Edward Pennington thought he was better than most, but that’s easy to do when you’re a big fish in a little pond.

  • Sue Bebie
    23 May 2008 4:09 am

    When I get older losing my hair many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday-greetings and a bottle of wine? If I’d been out till quarter to three, would you lock the door?
    Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?
    Wenn ich mal alt bin 60 und mehr
    Ich hoff’ es geht noch lang
    Kochst du mir von Zeit zu Zeit ‘nen Minzentee
    Kommst am Sonntag mit an den See
    Vielleicht hab ich Reuma und brauch einen Stock
    Halt mich dann am Arm
    Wird’s dich dann grausen aus meinem Teller zu schmausen
    Gibst mir dann noch warm?

  • Nadia Hansen
    22 November 2008 5:15 pm

    “Jerry..” As Jerry’s wife began Jerry’s heart was beating fast.”Your head is the size of a elepant’s butt and you have so much junk in the trunk you knocked over a 10 year old with your giant buttox.”His wife said softly.Jerry slid down in his chair and remembered the “10 year old” inccident.His wife began AGAIN”I think you need plastic surgery.” Jerry slid out of his chair and hit the floor with a “thump”.Jerry agreed to the surgery and when it was finished he looked like a giant studmuffin.(Also after the surgery the 10 year old kicked Jerry’s shin.)

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