Good morning. How are you? Thank you for checking in on the monsters on a Saturday. Yesterday’s blue tongued beast inspired some excellent stories! Please take a look:

Now… are you ready for Monster 149?

What’s it so happy about? Do you think it’s breakfast time for old 149? Is 149 actually old? Or young? Really big? Or really, really small? Does it grind its teeth? What kind of noises do its teeth make? I’m looking forward to reading your ideas. I hope that you’ll take a minute to…


I also hope that you’ll have a toasty, relaxing weekend
of sunshine, good vibes, and the cereal of your choice.
Why? Because 344 LOVES YOU


  • GristleBean
    16 February 2008 12:21 pm

    The Unassuming Shark is one of nature’s more dangerous fish, to both predator and prey. Unlike its cousin the Elbow-Mackerel that uses its prehensile elbows to muscle its way in for a kill, the Unassuming Shark has but one distinct feature: the lack of dorsal fin.
    Moving in packs of eight or more alongside larger predators such as the Flamingo Javelinfish or various parasol eels, Unassuming Sharks flank the prey when it notices the protruding dorsal fins of other predators, and steal the kill.
    But how do they detect the eyesight of the prey?
    Going to nightclasses in optometry school on a budget of a toothsome predatory dorsalfinless fish is quite a feat. But to them, it’s a rite of passage that gestures them into spawning and territory rights. Without this proper schooling, the Shark cannot survive just by scavenging off his or her friends, and will perish.
    This cunning hunting behaviour has taken the food from the mouths of these predators time and time again, to the point of pushing species to endangerment or extinction, like the Sloth-Gulper, and many others. They also have claimed the life of several seafaring glasses-makers, making oceanic contact-making a shrinking field in oceanopthomology.
    Assumptions aside, the Unassuming Shark is a formidable hunter, tests well, is prompt, has a great work-ethic, and will make a fine addition to your workforce.
    Please don’t hesitate to call if you have any additional questions about this reference.
    -Jurbel Holsteinpunt
    CEO, ‘AquaGoggles, Inc.’

  • 16 February 2008 4:04 pm

    Horny the virtuso harmonica player in concert tonite at Monnagie Hall. Just a few choice seats left at $149. DON’T MISS IT!
    *No iPods or cellphones allowed*

  • 16 February 2008 9:52 pm

    I think he’s happy because he just came from the dentist and only had one cavity. Coming from that mouth, I’d say it’s cause for celebration. His dentist, Dr. Awkward, sent him away with a finful of new brushes to keep his choppers clean.

  • Karen
    17 February 2008 5:02 pm

    Have you seen this? FAO Schwarz will actually make a monster design that you send in to them–it’s called “Make-My-Own-Monster Custom Design Kit.”

  • Sue Bebie
    2 August 2008 8:18 am

    Ich bin der MÜSLIMÄN…
    Ich knurpse
    Wenn EI KÄN…

  • tash gore
    13 March 2009 6:32 pm

    you are so, so, amazing.
    so, amazing.
    i just?
    i love your work.

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