Good morning. Happy Wednesday… if such a thing is possible. If you’re stressed by your work week, I urge you to relax with some great new monster stories by our far flung correspondents:


Monster 68 has excellent depth perception. Which must surely come in handy all the time. Maybe one of those occasions caused 68 to be as happy as he is? What do you think? What’s the story behind the peculiar head shape? The wide set eyes? The happy face? The goatee? And why is 68 shirtless, anyway? Please clear up the mystery for us!


Have a great day and take mid-week comfort in the fact that 344 LOVES YOU


  • 24 January 2007 9:47 am

    The nipples CRACK ME UP.

  • 24 January 2007 11:53 am

    Today the Bush administration released its latest border security measure along the 49th Parallel, the anti terrorist seeking microbe nicknamed Senzeless.

  • Sabeyen
    24 January 2007 3:58 pm

    This is the after picture. Before he was 38976000 tons, and him shirtless was not a pleasant site AT ALL. Thank heavens for Atkins.

  • monsterfan
    24 January 2007 8:50 pm

    Fantastic! With nipples, no less!
    (If you really want to know who this is, meet Yoakum Sly Dokum, hill country monster, fond of hailing newcomers with his trademark, “How-DEE!” He enjoys attending monster truck meets, eating toad in the hole for breakfast, and taking his pet possum for walks through the swamp. He is single and looking for a lady monster to snuggle with.)

  • 24 January 2007 9:59 pm

    Happy shirtless goat,
    Bug eyed, white nippled; so haute.
    His name is Carl.

  • 24 January 2007 10:44 pm

    YESSSS! It’s the peri-annual Monster Love In Fest! Grab your favorite Pez, a blanket and some baby grub oil – last one with your shirt on is a party-pooper.
    love love LOVE IT! And youse guyz stories (and haiku) are blitzed-out, like totally.

  • 24 January 2007 11:36 pm

    Palter was examining many of the parts on display at Gortinski’s shop. Some very fine pieces amongst his seemingly disorganized selection. Most called it a junk shop, but there were some real gems to be found here. Knowing how to talk to Gortinski helped a lot, too. He’d be your best friend for a few extra dollars. Gordon was a solitary sort, despite owning a shop that would attract a crowd from time to time. Most, however, found it difficult to just look at Gortinski, what with his scraggly, unkempt beard, his lack of traditional hands and the no-shirt thing turned a lot of people off. The hammerhead shape of his head was probably the most disturbing. He also had this uncanny talent of being able to move his eyes independently of each other. It was just plain creepy.
    Palter, on the other hand, was a perfect specimen of a man. Sublime muscle structure. Exquisite posture. Immaculate coif. Oh, he was a beautiful person. But not an arrogant one. He knew it took work to look as good as he did and he was not ashamed to do things others might not consider. Make no mistake, any of the other visitors to Gortinski’s store might challenge Palter’s fine presence; all were certainly better to look at than Gortinski himself. It was like night and day when comparing the two. Others seemed plastic with perfection up against Gortinski. However, they were equally humbled to be at his store. Gortinski had what they needed. Palter knew it and wasn’t about to leave just because of another’s appearance, which happened to enter from the back with some surprise by many of the patrons.
    “I need a good set of Quadra-Servs. Would you happen to have any of those?” Palter posed. Gortinski looked Palter up and down and the corner of his mouth pulled back to form a half-hearted smirk. “I may. I may not. No tellin’ what I got in this place.” Palter took the cue and pulled out his wallet to review the contents therein, being careful to let slip a peek for the shrewd dealer. After getting a good look at Palter’s abundant payment options, Gortinski motioned towards the left end of the counter. “Looks like you’re in luck, lad. Got a shipment in this mornin’. 200 for the pair.” They reached their destination and Gortinski pulled out a box of some used, but very well refurbished Quadra-Servs. He set them on the desk and Palter reopened his wallet, “These are nice. Well worth the price.”
    The transaction was made and Gortinski smirked, “They’ll work real nice for ya. These will fit many of the latest models. From the looks of ya, you’re as ‘latest’ as they come.” Palter grinned and took the parts from the dealer. “It’s a shame they don’t make them like you anymore, old man.”
    Gortinski walked towards the back room, “Flesh and bone don’t last as long as plastics and steel, lad.”

  • Blue
    29 January 2007 12:09 pm

    “Gah, man – that ride was totally wicked!” breathed Svector, still reeling from the rambunctious tenacity of the Spincthelkser.

  • Sue Bebie
    28 April 2008 4:07 am

    Sie liebt mich! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
    Sie liebt mich! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
    Sie liebt mich so wie ich bin.
    Sie liebt meine Glubschaugen.
    Sie liebt mein Hühnerbrüstchen.
    Sie liebt meine inneren Werte.
    Sie liebt mein fedriges Bärtchen.
    Sie liebt mein gewinnendes Lachen.
    Sie liebt meinen Humor.
    Sie liebt mich, Freewheeling Mac Eyeapple, der in höheren Sphären Schwebende.
    Sie liebt mich! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
    Sie liebt mich! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

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