DAILY MONSTER 190 (of 200)
Good morning. How are you? I hope you had a good start into the week, and that you’re ready for today’s fabulous monster stories:
Cool stuff, right?
Now, please give a warm welcome to Monster 190:
190 seems to be doing very well today. He also seems to be displaying some dental flair. How do you think that came to be? An excess consumption of cheese doodles? Goldenrod poisoning? A career in the rapping arts? I can’t wait to hear what you make of 190. If you can spare the time, please let us in on your thoughts and…
Have a great day today,
and please join me again tomorrow
for Monster 191. In the meantime
you surely know that 344 LOVES YOU
DUDE! Look at that grill!
Cost him his arms and his legs.
But look at that bling!
A transparent arm
Lingers in his memory.
He can’t grasp it though.
So it starts to fade,
Slowly but surely, away.
Bling isn’t worth it.
Keep your real values.
Say no to fads and glamor.
Arms/legs are useful.
Bob doesn’t go to the dentists anymore. They kept having to be rushed off for post-heart-attack treatment after he said ‘aaaah’, and showed them his yellow gnashers. Not to mention his enormous, hairy, black tongue.
Even Bucher’s Piranha Whales didn’t trigger such bad reactions from most dentists.
As you can see from the face he’s pulling, though, he has a healthy sense of humour, even if his dental health is a bit questionable.
Beware, be very aware of monster 190. The last time his name was on the wind here in London, monster 118 has taken out a contract on him.
190 had taken to stealing eggs, blue eggs, and they were the only source of income for monster 118. So he got the boys in. “Deal with him” they said.
It look’s like the boys didn’t finish their job.
It loves all these colorful plants. Because it has no clothes to dye, so it does it with its teeth.
Right here the recipe of
1 tablespoon yellow flowers (cut the clusters in pieces)
1 tablespoon fresh cheddar cheese (chopped)
1 cup of boiling water
Mix all together very well, cool it down and apply this hotchpotch with a used toothbrush on your teeth.
The state of 190’s teeth is largely due to the monster-master, Stefan Bucher. He borrowed 190’s toothbrush a few days ago, to use as his new ink splasher, and hasn’t yet return it!
Obviously, we are gazing at the 3rd brother of the Golden Arch triplets. #57, #161 and this guy.
Every week or so, #190 calls brother #57 and asks to borrow his five ties. They match his teeth almost perfectly.
The Guy with 5 Ties has learned not to loan them to brother $161. The dry cleaning bills from the drooling are humongous.
Ffffthatha had tired of being ignored. His fellow monsters didn’t even see him, most times, and if they did, they often didn’t even recognize him as a monster. He’d once spent a day riding atop a vacque-monster’s head as an improvised toupee. No more of that, Ffffthatha chortled to himself.
He slithered up the front of the artificially intelligent monster-mobile he’d spent years constructing. It looked like an enormous large-bellied groove-monster, complete with fully blinged golden teeth and twinkling coat-button eyes. Ffffthatha suckered his feet down at the edge of the monster-mobile’s “mouth”. His body would cover the movement controls nicely, and anyone who “conversed” with his vehicle would put any lack in the speech programs down to the poor groove-monster’s furry furry tongue.
Tyson is in the middle of a very lengthy root canal operation, and none of the assistants know why he’s smiling! All of his bottom nerves are being exposed to the freezing cold air in the dentist’s office! It’s probably all of the morphine and other anesthesias. Man, what they can do to a monster!
“I’ve seen the li-ight-ta! And it is bless-ed indeed-a! You have but ta balieve in the powah of the evah-lastin’. Yessir!” His teeth glowed brightly in the orange fluorescent. He was high on his pulpit announcing to all that would listen before him. And there were many before him.
He drew in a deep breath, his beard completely covering his lower jaw, and flipped a few more switches to add emphasis. “The light-ta! You will see-a the powah in every shinin’ moment-ta! Be not afraid, my brethren, for it is the light-ta you’ve so desperately needed. Yessir!”
A few of the customers seemed pretty impressed with the display. The new, long-lasting DL.3 setup was controlled remotely by a small, powerfully automated dashboard. The annual convention was Bradford’s time to, literally, shine as he showcased his wares. And today was proving quite lucrative for his business.
i like laying in the sun.
i like the way it makes my skin feel. i like closing my eyes and seeing colors through my eyelids. i like feeling the ground gripping my body. isn’t it strange how the sun makes your skin turn colors?
Eggis Befthelhilm’s stage name in the band ‘Skwosh-Mallut’ is Goatee Goldgrinn, and he plays lead hacksaw and vocals. He was just a simple roadie, but after the lead singer yammed on him and transplanted the Powerful Force Of Rock onto the innocent speaker-shucker, he was transformed into several angry woodland animals that then formed into the lead man you now see before you, as the story goes.
Their tour to promote their new album ‘Pelican Skeletons’ has gone amazingly well, but malevolent forces would place this now rock legend and gilded-toothed behemoth in the crosshairs of Bert Reverb, the jealous former vocalist, stopping his career too short of what he could have become. His fans would form their various world religions around him and this moment for centuries to come.
He plays the second-to-last set, and turns to face the audience.
I know I should shave my hairs but the old lady really digs then, and when she digs them, I dig her.
I’m dedicating “I wanna see your grill” to this guy ’cause he has a nice gold grill.