DAILY MONSTER 195 (of 200)

Good morning. How’s your Sunday going so far? Thank you for looking in
on the monsters. I hope you’ll find them a welcome addition to the Sunday
paper and maybe a friendly little nap later on. Why not start today’s visit with
a look at yesterday’s brilliant stories?


Don’t look up now, but Monster 195 is waiting for you:

If you’re reading this on my Amazon blog, please click here to see the video.

Unless I’m wrong — which is quite possible — Monster 195 is a big sucker! I’ll distill this down to the one question that realy matters: What’s its story? I hope you’ll let us in on it. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit more of your Sunday, please go ahead and…


I’m excited to see what you cook up.
For now, have a great Sunday
and please remember: 344 LOVES YOU


  • Sue Bebie
    27 April 2008 5:09 am

    What a ceature, this bony freshwater fish, with its mouth adapted for sucking. It’s a day tripper going to the dry land for sucking fresh human being blood.

  • 27 April 2008 6:45 am

    Sketch no. 25934:
    -Long spindly legs carry a disproportional large upper torso through the city.
    -Teeth the size of semi trailers have capability of large-scale destruction to building surfaces and humans.
    -Rounded skull appears to be alien, though oddly similar to human form.
    -Monster has no sense of smell and is blind, despite the appearance of two large eyes. It uses its fur for directional movement through vibrations and proximity to it’s surroundings.
    -Species name Man-Faced Horseleg (not very catchy)

  • SpookyDeeCat
    27 April 2008 9:38 am

    I like to go out to the green pasture and graze, but my boss wants me in the blue one. I always thought green looked better, but the boss said that blue has more anti-oxi-pants..or…anti-oxi-dents…or…something that is good for my heart. I like hearts…like this blue one my boos gave me. He said it was candy, but it sure don’t taste like candy, but then again, horse pills never do. Did I just say that? Boss don’t want me telling people I’m not a real horse. Thats why I gosta take them pills. To make me look like one. Though I never know what one looks like. He said Imagen a Crop Top Daddy from the planet Balls Cap but with less hair. I like hair…it feel so nice. Oh, here comes boss. see ya all later now.

  • 27 April 2008 12:15 pm

    195–The Bad Apple Monster
    They think the sky is black
    because the clouds are coming in–
    they think the rain is starting
    when drool’s dripping off my chin.
    They hear sounds they think are simply
    big trucks for construction,
    when in fact my giant teeth
    are gnashing mass destruction.
    All in all, their misconceptions
    only go to show–
    when everything is done and said,
    the prey’s the last to know.

  • Clover Field
    27 April 2008 12:51 pm

    He wanted to play. He had spent all month wandering around this stupid pasture and he wanted a friend. Off in the distance, he suddenly spotted some people. HE knew that people had toys. When he had been just a puppy, he’d played with people all the time. They always had toys, too. But when he got to them, he found that they were smaller than he remembered. Well, he couldn’t have grown THAT much. Maybe these were just toys too. Toys that made loud noises when he picked them up in his teeth and shook them until they were still…

  • jak
    27 April 2008 2:19 pm

    The words of his sainted mother echoed in the back of his head. “Stand very still, Benji, and they will come to you.”
    He’d been poised in this position for the past three days. Who knew there were so few people who took Route 4237 out of Pickering, Nevada, heading to Royal Belch?
    But, his patience was about to be rewarded. Ten unsuspecting morsels… uh, mortals… were gathered in small groups, gazing up at his motionless body. A northerly breeze, hot, but welcome, rustled through his belly fur, and a couple of the men in the crowd removed their hats to wipe the sweat from their brows.
    Mmmm…thought Benji, I love salty snacks! At that moment, a large drop of drool escaped his mouth and rolled to the edge of his chin hairs, dangling on the end of one, threatening to plop right on one of the plumper onlookers. He couldn’t take any chances!
    Snick, snack!
    Moments later, Benji settled back on his haunches, picking bits of t-shirt and denim from between his teeth. “Yeah,” he murmured, “it was worth the wait.”

  • 27 April 2008 6:19 pm

    First time we’ve seen a member of the Monster Military. Very clever, actually. It a combination officer and horse belonging to the 344th Monster Cavalry Regiment.
    For one thing, it makes things pretty easy in the mess halls. However, latrine duty is not good to draw.

  • 27 April 2008 6:20 pm

    First time we’ve seen a member of the Monster Military. Very clever, actually. It a combination officer and horse belonging to the 344th Monster Cavalry Regiment.
    For one thing, it makes things pretty easy in the mess halls. However, latrine duty is not good to draw.

  • GristleBean
    27 April 2008 8:15 pm

    Here we see the Common Voontrice in its habitat, The Hardennt Fields, which extend from Eastern Sploor to the Gauga Mountain range. Few things grow with more destructive force than granite-weed or any of the various irongrass types that permeate these prairies. They also grow around (or through) highways and buildings pushing steel and concrete away like a spoon through Eugene pudding. Many a structure has been condemned due to unchecked growth and rooting. The insurance companies won’t touch the subject with a ten-foot pole.
    These perpetually pestersome petrified prairie plantlife grow unchecked, save for Voontrices. They’ve developed massive grinding teeth that crimp the plant off, grind it into silt, and self-sharpen through this action.
    Voontrice handlers and farms are hired to eat away the urban problems of these types of plants with considerable ease, but at a cost.
    Elderly Voontrices lose their teeth, which are very valuable commodities in the industrial and military markets, and most farmers fully admit to raising Voontrices for this very purpose.

  • Nadia Hansen
    24 November 2008 5:02 pm

    The migration of the RazzleDazzle Hunchback only happens once every 359,543,323 years. It can eat small or big children and it can also it tampons,emos,small trinkets,lunch boxes,and some rehab centers.RazzleDazzle Hunchback’s have a lifespan of 989,412,564 years and 10 days.

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