Good morning. Look! It’s Friday again? Where does the week go? Thank you for coming to visit the monsters. We’re now only one month away from Monster 100! It seems like only two months and 8 days since we started our little experiment. Ah.. monsters.. they grow up so fast.

Please take a look at the fresh crop of brilliant stories by our valiant contributors:


Monster 70 is, indeed, a Seventies Monster. Or so it seems from his polyester wardrobe. What was he thinking? But he seems of good cheer, so that’s something. What do you think he’s up to? Is he getting ready to entertain? Is he trying to sell you something? What’s his angle? Please take a minute to give us the Better Business Bureau report on Number 70 here:


I hope you’ll have a great day today and a mellow weekend ahead. If you’ve already posted your story for Number 70 and you still feel like killing some time, I’ve put together a tour of some great sights and sites around the world on Google Maps:

The Hollywood Sign
The Golden Gate Bridge
The Empire State Building
The Chrysler Building
The Statue of Liberty
The Washington Monument
Sears Tower
Buckingham Palace
The Gherkin
The Taj Mahal
The Sydney Opera House
The Eiffel Tower
The Great Pyramids of Giza and the Sphynx
The Cologne Cathedral
The Forum in Rome
The Acropolis
Red Square
Hoover Dam
The Space Needle
The World’s Fair in Queens
The Reichstag
Mount Kilimanjaro
Mount Fuji
Mount Everest
Ayers Rock
and last but not least
Pavonis Mons (Home Sweet Home!)

Safe travels!

For now, nothing says 344 LOVES YOU like 344 LOVES YOU

This just in: Check out a new creature by German friend of the monsters Johannes. It’s very cool! Johannes gives good scarf, too!


  • 26 January 2007 4:48 am

    this is a manual trackback 🙂

  • Katy
    26 January 2007 5:33 am

    Charlie the teenage earthworm really wanted to get into the new movie “Atomic Mutant Amazons”. So he went into his grandmother’s attic and dug up the old Halloween costumes. the mask left something to be desired (the grin kind of creeped him out), but the suit was tight, having recently come back into style. Did his ruse work? Let’s see… (more later)

  • 26 January 2007 7:52 am

    I am ever so relieved that I got to leave the ocean floor. I mean, really. life as a deep-sea tapeworm is terrific–you don’t have to do anything but lie there, and food just sort of drifts your way…but I just can’t get my hair to do this in the deep blue. Humidity, you know. Plus–polyester–not so comfortable when one is moist all the time.

  • 26 January 2007 11:29 am

    Larry felt that he was looking quite sharp with his pinstripe pants and suit coat. Obviously he is in a fine mood, about to go teach his philosophy course at the local community college.
    The real question that we have for Larry is, how do you fit your sporty yellow shirt on over your rather large cranium?
    One theory is that Larry does not actually have a body like the one pictured at all… and that he’s simply in his natural habitat – inside a manikin your local clothing store. How tricksy!

  • Sabeyen
    26 January 2007 12:38 pm

    This particular monster is of the Eatus Yurheadus, a very rare monster indeed.
    As his name would suggest, Monster 70 eats heads, being that he is most just a head himself. He then attatches himself to his prey’s body with his long rubbery tail. And in this way, Monster 70 can do all the things he’s always wanted to do. Like wearing polyester, and going to disco parties.

  • Brooke N.
    26 January 2007 3:17 pm

    Dear Boss,
    I am not a Suit. Please fire me. I haven’t the strength to quit. I cannot type another memo. I cannot answer another phone. I cannot conference call or inventory, or balance, or alphabetize again. Please fire me. I am a monster within a Suit.

  • 26 January 2007 6:23 pm

    It’s not what enters a man but what comes out of a man that matters, particularly if it comes out of a straw attached to your neck at a discotech.

  • Katy
    26 January 2007 7:11 pm

    …Even though his expression was calm and peaceful, all the theater ticket-girl could see was the maniacal grin. It creeped her out, but she figured it was easier to just sell him the ticket than to potentially cause a scene by asking for his ID.
    So, he was in. The movie was fine, but the real excitement came when the mask slipped off. No one really noticed at first (including Charlie, because he was so enthralled by the space amazons).
    His little wormy head was exposed! ……

  • Katy
    26 January 2007 7:15 pm

    Yi Shun – VERY good.. 🙂

  • 26 January 2007 9:39 pm

    Lars came from royalty, but never quite fit in with the crowd. He was gawkish and heavy-headed, but he made due. The niceties of high society bothered him, especially the uptown attire. They say the clothes make the man, but Lars never felt comfortable wearing the $1200 suits his family dressed him in. Smiling, he took it all in stride, day after luxurious day.

  • 26 January 2007 11:10 pm

    omg! it’s Alvarado the Swinger, Atol the NotDim’s buddy! No no no, not THAT kind of Swinger. He’s built for bulbing lamps that don’t have that swing-arm ability. Just place Alvarado on any lamp and instantly transform it into a bendy, put-it-where-you-want-it illuminator!
    I’m so tired I’m cross-eyed! yeargh. thanks for all the stories folks, and for those fun google satellite images, Stefan.

  • 26 January 2007 11:37 pm

    Inspector Jenson studied the piece of evidence on the floor next to the body. It’s odd shape needing extra scrutiny, craning his long neck for a better look. This was an advantage as the inspector’s stocky frame was getting a bit … stockier these days. Another officer came up from behind, “Whatcha got there, Frank?”
    “Not sure. Doesn’t look like much of anything. Honestly, I don’t remember noticing it there earlier. My eyesight must be slipping.” Frank pulled a notepad from his green blazer to scribble down the details. He estimated how large it was, about three-quarters of an inch, and judged it to be maybe an eighth of an inch in thickness. A portion of it was clearly busted off, and the assumption was there must have been a struggle. He diligently took down the notes for better study afterwards.
    The other officer got a quizzical look on his face and bent down to inspect the article himself. After a few seconds, he looked back at the good detective and then at the object once more. With a chuckle he picked it up, turned to face Frank and remarked, “You’re not losing your eyesight. But you are gaining weight apparently.” He held the broken button next to the, now vacant, spot on Inspector Jenson’s coat.
    “Should we bag it up?” mocked the officer. Jenson merely took the button from his hands. “Go check out the living room,” was his only response. As the officer left, he looked down at the button and carefully slide it into his breast pocket.
    He patted the button-containing pocket and with a sly, teeth baring smile remarked to himself, “Well, old boy… who knew those breakfast tacos would help conceal a murder.”

  • Blue
    29 January 2007 12:28 pm

    “Yeeesssss??” slithered Phlan, eager to please on his first day on the lot.

  • Blue
    29 January 2007 12:34 pm

    “Sooo, whaddya think?” He asked anxiously. Anxious to get approval for his patent on a new, more convenient straw, and eager to get out of the borrowed suit of his father.

  • 26 September 2007 9:27 pm

    Katy–like, nine months late, or summat–but thanks for the kudos!!

  • Sue Bebie
    29 April 2008 7:01 am

    Fred vom Jupiter kurz F.J., der vor den Medien sorgsam geheim gehaltene ausserirdische Zwillingsbruder von E.T., ist zwar nicht im Filmbusiness, aber auch sehr erfolgreich. F.J. ist der angesagte jupiteranische Designer für D.I.N.Ks., die ihre extraterrestrische Kohle nicht nur schaufeln, sondern auch ganz gerne ausgeben. Die Kaufkraft dieser D.I.N.Ks. hat ihm zu Reichtum und Berühmtheit verholfen.
    Meldungen über einen dem E.T. zum Verwechseln ähnlich sehenden F.J. machen schon im Weltraum die Runde. Wie lange es dauern wird, bis der erste Satellit was davon in die Antenne bekommt…das wissen die Sterne.

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