Good morning. How are you doing? I hope you’re enjoying the first few days of this new Daily Monster run. (I know I am.) Without delay, let me present Monster 138:

He seems unfazed by the February temperatures. Why do you think that is? What do you think he was doing five minutes ago? What do you think he’ll be doing five minutes from now? If you have a few minutes to spare, I’d love it if you would…


If you need some inspiration, please check out yesterday’s posts
by Inanna and Danielle, both of whom cracked me up.
(Terry T left a comment, too, but he’s just getting warmed up.)

I hope you’ll have a lovely day,
and that good things will find you.
Why? Because 344 LOVES YOU


  • 5 February 2008 7:56 am

    No matter how many times Smiley went to the Monster Dentist, they could never determine where the black stains on his teeth came from. And Smiley knew that he brushed every single time after eating. It was so easy to just flick in his proboscis and not carry around a toothbrush.

  • 5 February 2008 10:14 am

    This is Craig, the cruddy cryptid, cousin of Chesapeake Bay Chessie. He slapped his shower shorts on about five minutes ago. All he needs now is a cap, some bubble wrap and a nap for his afternoon off. He got hooked on the bubbly a few years back, after finding a box of the stuff in his dad’s closet. He’s popped his way into a serious addiction. Five minutes from now, he’ll be in a deep wrap nod until tomorrow. Poor guy. Someone should get him the help he needs.

  • 5 February 2008 10:18 am

    Mr.X has a serious addiction to Sharpies.
    His addiction is so bad, that his eyes are constantly dialated-meaning that he is blind.
    To compensate for his lack of sight, his nose hairs grew to 50 feet long. He now relies on his super duper long nose hairs to find his favorite sharpie-metallic silver. Recently his nose hairs have gotten in the way of sniffing, so Mr X now eats sharpies. His doctor is seriously concerned about his Sharpie consumption. Mr X’s doctor has recommended he switch to eating Copic markers since they are less toxic and won’t leave nasty black stains on the teeth.

  • 5 February 2008 10:21 am

    Mr. Wild Party Horn Head has just heard the news.
    There are some monster buddies who can really play the blues.
    He knows his nose can find them, so he takes a great big sniff.
    And as he blows his noise out, he gets a little lift.
    He takes a bigger breath now and blows with all his soul.
    If you close your eyes and listen, his song is everywhere you go.

  • Bebié Susan
    5 February 2008 10:24 am

    the love of the 344 warmed him up and also the cup of very hot tea he had before.
    five minutes from now he will dance to lou reed’s satellite of love and he’ll be fine.

  • heathers
    5 February 2008 3:28 pm

    Unfazed by the February cold eh? Must be a Canadian monster out for a quick dip after too much Screech!

  • James Hardaker
    5 February 2008 3:54 pm

    This is a prehistoric creature which lived during the last Ice Age, and that’s why he is so happy to be out in our February weather!
    He came through a timewarp accidentally, and now, stranded in the 21st Century, he is considering becoming the Democrats’ third candidate in the Presidential race.
    (P.S. What’s that cool thing you draw on? It looks like some sort of cross between a board and a ruler!)

  • GristleBean
    5 February 2008 9:52 pm

    Puggy Lampreynose just bought the greatest patio furniture set. It goes with his kiddie pool, his sunglasses, his suntan lotion, his Hamburger-Massager, everything. It’s so versatile: he can use it for outdoor entertaining, for outdoor business meetings, or for outdoor casual relaxation.
    He’d better like it: he just locked himself outside when he went to go change into his swimming trunks.

  • Sue Bebie
    11 July 2008 6:51 am

    Jonas der Retter der Wale betätigt sich in seiner knapp bemessenen Freizeit als Badehosenmodel. Die spinatfarbenen Hanfshorts werden in der Fachpresse bereits als der Renner des kommenden Sommers gehandelt. Ein Must Have für alle Ökofreaks, die den Jonas schon mal auf dem Catwalk erlebt haben. Wenn er loslegt mit seinem SCHIEB DEN WAL, SCHIEB DEN WAL, SCHIEB DEN WAL ZURÜCK INS MEER…, dann schreit alles nur noch nach Öko.

  • Nadia Hansen
    11 December 2008 4:19 pm

    This is Trevor he likes cake and swimming most of his hobbies involve cake and swimming.One day Trevor was on the beach eating cake when some kids kicked sand on his poor strawberry choclate cake.This made Trevor mad sooooo he ate one of the children,but a freak accident happened the kid accidently went to his nose insted of his tummy!!He didn’t care so he cleaned off he cake and got a restraining order from the beach.Now,Trevor eats cake in his bathtub while listening to Hannah Montanna.After he listened to Hannah Montanna’s song he got brain damage.
    Happy holidays and 344 lurves you!!!

Leave A Comment